Behind every great man…(part 1) Why you need a vegan partner and how to find one.
photo by Stephanie W Photography
Behind every great vegan man, there is a great vegan (woman). I put “woman” in parentheses because I understand there are different preferences out there, and I respect all of them. I will use the term woman only because that is what I am familiar with. The message remains the same regardless of your preference.
Of all the successes I have had in my life, marrying my wife is the greatest of them all. Since my wish for all of you is to be as lucky as I am, I’d love to share some advice on how to find and marry the woman of your dreams. I will cover everything I have learned in a four-part blog.
Part 1 Why you need a vegan partner and how to find one
Part 2 Everything you need to know about proposing
Part 3 A man’s guide to having a vegan wedding
Part 4 Start your marriage off right with a vegan honeymoon
All of us need someone by our side who loves us, who supports us and who believes in us. If it weren’t for my wife, I would never be the man I am today, and this website would not exist.
I was very apprehensive about starting AVeganMan.com. I didn’t particularly like the internet or social media, had no idea how to design a website, and I don’t consider myself to be an expert on anything. Most of all, I was worried about what other people would think and the constant harassment I was sure to endure from the people around me. Despite my fears, I saw there was a stereotype about vegans not being manly and I wanted to do something about it. When I shared my idea with my wife, she was so passionate and supportive that I realized I had to set my fears aside and go for it. Once I committed to the idea, I was filled with excitement and felt like I could make a difference in the world. I was so enthusiastic the first day that I was in front of the computer as my wife left for work and remained there until she returned that night. I didn’t know anything about web design or web hosting so the learning curve was pretty steep. I tried hard not to get discouraged, but I was having a very rough time. When my wife got home, I was ecstatic to show her the minimal progress I had made. I created a domain name, made a template for the website, and an under construction page. I thought this was a major accomplishment. As my wife ate dinner, I tried to show her my progress on her phone. My original domain name was www.theveganman.com and when I typed that I got an error saying the page didn’t exist. I thought that was strange, so I dragged her over to the computer where I had spent my entire day. She quickly realized the problem and broke the news to me. I was so caught up in the excitement that I had spent countless hours creating www.thevAganman.com (note the subtle difference). Not exactly what I was going for. I look back and laugh about it now, but that rough start was almost the end of my website. I felt embarrassed and doubted that I would ever be a successful blogger if I couldn’t even spell the domain name correctly. My wife finished dinner, and we went on a walk around the neighborhood with me distraught and feeling sorry for myself. She explained to me how thrilled she was about my project, and how proud of me she was for attempting it. I quickly realized I had to persevere. I couldn’t give up that easily. I woke up the next morning, picked myself up, dusted myself off and repeated all of my efforts, this time for AVeganMan.com. I think this was a much better domain name anyway.
This is just one example of the support she has given me. She makes me feel like I can accomplish anything with her by my side, and she makes me want to be a better man. She is always there for me whenever anything goes wrong, and I am thankful every day that I have her in my life. I want to provide you with some of the information I have learned in hopes that you all can find abundant love in your lives.
First of all never settle! You must believe in your heart that you deserve to be loved by someone who will make you the best version of yourself. If you don’t love yourself and believe you deserve a partner, it will never happen.
I highly recommend being with another vegan for many reasons. Unfortunately, being a vegan man can be difficult and frustrating sometimes. After days and weeks of having to explain your choices and defend your way of living, it is nice to come home to someone who understands and supports you. It also makes sense to share the same values or it will end up being a constant source of tension in your relationship.
So where can you find a single vegan?
I have been very involved with social media lately and I have noticed a lot of vegan females looking for and asking about vegan men. Available vegan woman are out there looking for compassionate men, you just need to find them. There are several options for your search.
Option 1: The old fashioned way. Go out where you live and interact face to face. Go to a vegan restaurant, an animal shelter, or a coffee shop and just strike up a conversation with someone you may be interested in. I don’t advise gimmicky pickup lines or rehearsed scripts. Be bold, make eye contact, walk over and introduce yourself. See where it goes from there. This is how my wife and I met except I was too scared to ask her out in person, so I sent her a text after I left. Don’t make that mistake. If you haven’t read the story of how we met yet, read it here.
Option 2: Facebook. There are plenty of vegan singles Facebook groups out there. Join a few of them and get involved in the group. If you see someone you are interested in talk to them. Do your best not to be creepy.
Option 3: Meetup.com. Join Meetup.com and attend some vegan meetups. Meetups are a great option for meeting people in person with common interests. My wife and I have attended several meetups and met many interesting people.
Option 4: Dating sites. I don’t have any personal experience with these ( I promise), but if I were single I would give them a try. I think the days of going to a bar and picking up someone are over. The type of person you want to meet probably isn’t hanging out in some dingy bar waiting to be hit on. Give online a shot. I have plenty of friends who are happily married having met online. There are also several vegan dating websites out there. I can’t say if they are any good or not, but here are some that I found:
Vegnews.com also provided a few good resources here.
A few more things to consider:
- Once you find someone you are interested in, you will know rather quickly if it is worth pursuing further. I knew the first day with my wife that I wanted to be with her. Soon after, I knew she was ”the one”, but I had to overcome a few fears before I let myself believe that. If you don’t see yourself together in the future, don’t waste your time, it will only result in hurt feelings.
- I am no expert when it comes to the ladies, but I think it is simple. Be confident, be yourself, be respectful, and always be honest. Be the type of man you would want dating your sister. If you do all of those things, I promise you great success.
- Make sure you let everything happen naturally. Before I met my wife I realized I came off as desperate. I hated being alone and wasn’t comfortable with myself. I tried to force relationships with all the wrong people, or I would come off as needy. This is not a good position to be in.
- Make sure you are ready to be in a relationship. If your life is in turmoil for any reason, you might want to get that squared away before you involve someone else.
If you aren’t sure what to do, please reach out to me, or leave a comment below. I’m not qualified to give relationship advice, but I have made just about every mistake you can make and I can help you avoid them.